You Don’t Love Your Kids if You Don’t

“You don’t love your kids if you don’t buy my vacuum cleaner.” The salesman looked me right in the eye and didn’t even flinch. He was sure he was going to get the sale. I was a caring Mom, of course I’d buy his vacuum.

Now it was a good vacuum cleaner, but I wasn’t buying one that day, already said so before his demonstration. To make things worse, he had a young assistant with him, training him. The only reason I let them do the demonstration was the new kid said he needed a place to “practice”, didn’t matter that I wasn’t going to buy one, “let me give you a free carpet shampoo”.

So I looked right back and told him exactly what I thought of his sales tactic. I also said that I didn’t even think it was very effective, I’m sure he’d made many people angry. I could not believe it when he said that it did not matter since many would buy out of guilt or whatever. It had a lifetime warranty, thus no repeat customers. I guess he didn’t want any referrals either, nor did he care about his reputation.

Recently, I got a call from a person I do not even know. “If you are serious about your business, you will take 45 minutes to listen to my call. I promise your business will explode.” (From a person who didn’t know me and had never heard of my business) Now I admit, there are times when I get frustrated, blowing up things could be tempting, but no thanks. I declined. Now the vacuum cleaner was good, so I’ll keep an open mind, maybe the program they are selling is good. I do care about my kids and my business. But the sales tactic still stinks.

And we wonder why people hate sales. I’m betting that they met someone like that particular vacuum salesman. I suggest that he didn’t understand sales. I didn’t buy. Neither did my neighbors, amazing the power of word of mouth.

But what if, after his demonstration, listening to me when I said I wasn’t in the market for a cleaner, he was kind, thanked me for my time, left a couple of his cards for referrals?

What if the person on the phone, instead of saying “Have I’ve got a deal for you, give me 45 minutes of your time or else . . .” introduced themselves, asked questions about myself and my business. There is no way they can know whether or not they have something that I need, unless they know a bit about my business. When and if they saw that they had something that would truly benefit me, then they could ask. I’m not going to give a total stranger 45 minutes just because they ask for it, nor do I want to learn better ways to market my business from anyone using this guilt trip technique.

I’m not fond of the “If you don’t buy now, you’ll be sorry” deal either. I can remember looking at cars, and I’d hear “You can only get this deal if you buy this car right now.” I bet if I showed up with cash the next day, that I could talk them into the same offer. But I do appreciate the car salesman who explains that since the ‘06 model is out, they have a great deal on the ‘05, but once it is sold they can’t promise to find another. I always appreciate truth, even if there is some fear of loss involved. Don’t pressure. “This deal may be gone, but I will see what I can do for you, whenever you come back.”

You have to admire Dr. Suess’s “Sam I Am”. He was persistent marketing his green eggs and ham. “Will you try them here or there?” “Will you try them in a box with a fox?” In the end, the character tried the eggs just to get him to shut up. Worked in the story, but I’d have hung up on the guy. I believe that try it to see if you like it is a great way to go, samples, money back guarantees, etc. But don’t shove it down my throat.

Consumers are bright. Find a nice way to get their attention without insulting them, show folks what you have to offer. Address any objections they have, clear up misconceptions, listen, and show concern for their needs. You don’t love your customers if you don’t treat them with respect and show that you care.

Copyright 2005 Heidi Caswell

Visit Heidi Caswell’s CardsConnectSimply to learn a simple method to keep your name out there and gain those golden referrals. Contact Heidi at heidi@connectsimply.com

Hawaiian Luau Aloha Party

Having a Hawaiian theme party can be done any time of year for many types of parties. A birthday party, an anniversary party or a cookout are all fun ways to enjoy a Hawaiian luau. A Hawaiian luau in the winter can bring some fun tropic style to the mid-winter blahs, especially if you live in the cold north. Tell all guests that no matter the weather, they need to dress for tropical heat. Turn your thermostat up to 90 to keep warm if need be!

A party store will have endless decorations to match a Hawaiian theme. Pineapple plates, tropical fish and palm trees can be used as invitations. Plates, cups, napkins and tablecloths will come in coordinating styles and colors. To make the event even more festive, have every guest wear a grass skirt and a floral lei. Leis can be purchased from any party planning supply store in a variety of styles and colors.

If you’re party involves a meal, have a pig roast. Serve as many dishes with pineapple as you can. Have all of your guests bring pineapple flavored dishes. Have a taste test contest for the most unique dish. This gets people in the creative mode as well as feeds everyone.

Games to play at a Hawaiian style party include doing the limbo, a pineapple tossing contest and a hula contest. You could also have food eating contests and relays. Making grass skirts and creating the most unique lei can also be fun activities. Use fresh or silk flowers and string and let them go to town.

Buy personalized prizes to give to all your guests to remember your event. Set up a palm tree and Hawaiian style sunset background for picture op and take a snapshot of every guest. Send it to them after or use as a thank you note to give them a cherished memory.

Mrs. Party… Gail Leino is the internet’s leading authority on selecting the best possible party supplies, using proper etiquette and manners while also teaching organizational skills and fun facts. More ideas, games, favors, decorations and Hawaiian Party Supplies at the Party Supplies Hut.

How to Help Your Picky Eater

One of the most common questions I am asked is how to help a picky eater.

10 Ways To Bring Out The Entrepreneur In Your Child

1. Take time to engage your children in serious conversation. You will be surprised how easy it is to link their world with yours and, at the same time, to build a relationship of open communication, shared knowledge and sound values.

2. Don’t lecture them. Let your children provide as much input as possible. Let them talk. Listen. Be their business partner, not their boss. Let them develop their own business ideas - then act as the advisor to help them; understand the important real-life issues of running a successful business.

3. Explain what income, expenses and profit are - and then what to do with profit.

4. Start with a business that suits the child’s budget. Build the business around something that the child enjoys doing; whether it is flying kites or working on computers.

5. Life can be unpredictable. Tell them to plan for the unexpected.

6. Let your children make mistakes. They need to discover that this is sometimes the way one learns.

7. Give your children pocket money. This is how they begin to learn the value of money. Help them to put some pocket money away for savings, giving and investing - but also to have some fun.

8. Encourage a policy of giving to others or organisations in need of funds. Our country needs people who care about each other.

9. Talk about costs in the home, purchases and reasons for their choice of products.

10. Help your children set individual attainable goals.

Gregory Bunyard is the co-author and founder of the Ka-Ching! Business Parenting course, please visit www.ka-chingworld.com/. Bunyard studied for his BCom at Rhodes University, Grahamstown, South Africa where he majored in Business Administration and Industrial Psychology and thereafter obtained an MBA from the Edinburgh Business School in Scotland. He has worked in Johannesburg, London and in the USA and has travelled the world. He is very much an entrepreneur himself - currently consulting to business owners.

The Value of Losing

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers who won the Super Bowl and became champions of the world for a record tying 5th time.

It must have been great to hoist the Lombardi Trophy as the hapless Seahawks looked on in defeat. What a bunch of losers falling flat on their face like a baby first learning to walk. Of course, they did finish 2nd best - ahead of the other 30 losing teams that didn’t even win their conference. While some may consider the NFC champs to have had a successful season, Tom Seaver once wrote: “there are only two places an athlete can finish - first place and no place”. How about Vince Lombardi who said: “Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser”. Even in the world sports, where it really is about winning, or in life, this can’t be the way we think. As a looking glass into real life, when 31 NFL teams, representing the best players in the world, are all looking up at the Champion Steelers, we all need to find and understand the value of losing.

Everybody Loses

While being a loser requires that you lose, the corollary that losing makes you a loser is certainly false. Vince Lombardi is known as one of the greatest and most intense coaches in history. Of course, most of us know Coach Lombardi’s famous quote: “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing”. While he always put that kind of emphasis on winning, most of us don’t know that he also said: “If you can’t accept losing, you can’t win.” While we all like to win much more than we like to lose, in order to play and be a part of something greater, we have to be willing to take the risk that we might lose. It has to be accepted that losing is a natural a part of participating and of winning.

Why It’s Okay to Lose

While not necessarily intuitive, there are many reasons why we can feel good about losing and I want to focus on two of these: the first and most obvious reason to lose is because it will help us to win; the second reason to lose is that it helps us to win in life.

Losing creates opportunity. Every loss has more lessons about what a team or individual can do to improve than any win. Losing also provides more motivation. Winning tends to cause people to overlook errors in judgment and fundamentals that only losing can reveal. It’s through the process that individuals and teams can discern areas to work on through practice to improve. Maybe even more important is that losing forces people to recognize that they want to win. The motivation provided by losing is a key to helping teams work harder in practice to improve and to play harder to win. Coach John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success (January, 2006) emphasizes that success isn’t winning or losing, but the self satisfaction derived from doing your best to be the best of which you are capable. Both winning and losing should inspire an individual to improve and to maximize their potential. By using losses in this way, we can motivate ourselves and others.

We can also use these lessons to improve other aspects of our life because losing is as much a part of every day life as it is a natural experience of playing sports. As parents, we make such an effort to help our kids feel better and to not let them experience failures. Ultimately, by not acknowledging their shortcomings, mistakes and losses, we don’t allow them to live up to their potential. Failing is natural and it creates motivation. Without failing, kids may not see the need to work harder to improve. Telling kids that they have a “good eye” when the pitch is over the backstop, or saying “nice try” after a mistake may seem encouraging. However, we should also understand that it can be fine to let them know that a mistake has been made. When an error is made we can acknowledge it and then work to learn from the mistake and ultimately to improve.

By continuing to tell kids that they’re always doing great sends a message that they don’t need to work as hard. Kids are smart and they realize when they’re good or bad. Sometimes they need to be protected but other times we need to also be honest if we want them to succeed in life. The idea that a person just needs to do their best isn’t always true - sometimes they need to do even better. I heard of story of an employee who responded to a new work assignment for a project that needed to be done by a deadline with: “I’ll do my best”. Well, in this case, it just needed to get done and failing to finish it, even if that was their “best effort”, was simply unacceptable. Sometimes, a person’s best is not enough and you need to “get it done”. This is one of the lessons that you can learn by losing because it is part of life.

Conclusion

Bud Wilkerson, the famous Okalahoma Sooners football coach who led his team on a 47 game winning streak, noted that the only way you could meet somebody that never lost meant that you had to find somebody that never played the game. While nobody wants to lose, we can use losing to motivate and improve. We can also extrapolate the lessons of losing to the greater life lessons so that we can all become the best of which we are capable. Losing is part of everything we do and has tremendous value. Mistakes are a natural part of participating so we shouldn’t be afraid of acknowledging our errors and using them to improve. Our goal, in youth sports and in life, has to be to see the value of losing and use it to become better athletes, parents and people.

Ken Kaiserman is the President of http://SportsKids.com - a leading sports Internet site for kids and their families. In addition to coaching football, basketball and baseball, Ken serves on the local Little League board of directors and a park advisory committee.

Tips for Fun-Filled Trick-or-Treating For Your Kids

What’s a child’s favorite part of Halloween? Going trick-or-treating, of
course. What could be more fun than dressing up, and then walking from door
to door collecting plenty of candy along the way? Best of all, this fun
tradition takes place at night. Make this the most fun trick-or-treating
experience for your child with these simple tips.

Location, Location, Location
Pick a good neighborhood with plenty of people who are prepared for and
welcome trick-or-treaters. If you are new in the area, talk to other parents
in your neighborhood about where to go trick-or-treating. Usually
neighborhoods or subdivisions that decorate a lot are a good choice as well.

Chaperone
You may be tempted to send older children out on their own to
Trick-or-Treat, but unless you know everyone on the street they are walking
on, and have them go in a group, it’s just not a safe option. Instead, send
at least one adult along with them. Having an adult will make sure the
trick-or-treating stays a fun experience for your children.

Trick-or-Treat in a Group
Kids have even more fun trick-or-treating if they get to run around in a
group. Get a few families in the neighborhood together, or ask the cousins
over to go trick-or-treating with you and your kids. Just make sure you
bring several adults, especially if the kids are young, to keep up with
everyone.

Don’t Overdo It
Start early, right at or even before dusk and don’t overdo the
trick-or-treating. How long you end up trick-or-treating will of course
depend on the age of your children. Just keep an eye on how they are doing
and take them home when they start getting tired. The whole evening will be
more memorable if you end it on a good note.

Would you like to quickly make creative Halloween costumes that you
and your children will be proud of — for a fraction of the price of
store-bought? Susanne Myers has co-authored a book to show you how — no
sewing involved. Visit http://www.ILoveHalloweenCostumes.com to learn more.

Beginner Piano Lessons for a New Year - Make Time in Your Child’s Schedule for Piano Lessons

There is no better time than the New Year to begin piano lessons. If you have been thinking of enrolling your child in piano lessons, don’t wait because piano lessons are so valuable for children. Parents know this, but a common excuse given is “We are so busy, how will we find the time?” The truth is that all human activity is goal driven, but we don’t all focus on goals that will bring us the most benefit over the long term. To do this we need to manage our time, but the catch is that managing our time is really a function of goals and perspective. This is not a chicken or the egg question, however, because achievement has a history - a definite beginning and a process of follow-through.

Here’s the Beginning.

Making a Decision - Goals are a Tool of Choice. To set meaningful goals that will last, focus on the “What” and the “Why.”

Why should I enroll my child in piano lessons? In what ways will my child benefit from piano lessons?

Example 1: In addition to building a fun, life-long skill, piano lessons help children learn

Key Reading and Math Skills

How to Set Goals to Achieve their Dreams

The Need for Persistence in Learning

How to take Responsibility for their Success

Example 2: I love my children and want to help them live out their potential and to prepare them for a positive future with activities that are challenging and and that provide long-term rewards.

Here’s the Follow-Through.

Once you have made a decision and set your course, plan to re-direct your focus whenever you begin to veer off course. Don’t begin by thinking this will not happen to you. This happens to everybody! Setting goals is the easy part, staying on course and following through takes practice. But the only way to overcome distractions that will inevitably come is to be prepared with a plan and give it time to work.

Here’s the Plan for Achievement.

Get a piece of paper and write down the “What” and the “Why.” Post it in several locations where you’ll see it throughout your day. Then when you have that inevitable low day and begin to think “Piano lessons are expensive,” “It takes time to drive the kids to their lessons,” or your child complains (because that’s what kids do best) you can look at your goals and remember the “What” and the “Why” and find your passion and your motivation again. This is the best way to stay focused and follow through with your piano goals in each New Year. Help your children do the same and you’ll be preparing them for a positive future of success.

For great home piano activities parents can use to help children ages 5 to 11 develop their musical talent, visit Piano Adventure Bears Music Education Resources You’ll find a treasure box filled with piano resources to create an exciting musical adventure for your child - right in your own home! Visit their website and subscribe to their f’ree internet newsletter so you can download f’ree piano sheet music and mp3s of original piano compositions.

These exciting stories, games, piano lessons, and inspirational gifts feature the Piano Adventure Bears, Mrs. Treble Beary and her new piano student, Albeart Littlebud. Young students follow along with Albeart to learn what piano lessons are all about in a fun way that kids readily understand appreciate. Click here to visit PianoAdventureBears.com For a wealth of information about piano lessons, visit tallypiano.com

Halloween Party Have a Happy Halloween Lock-in Monster Mash!

While most of us remember dressing in homemade costumes, going from house to house, yelling trick or treat, the trend is having Halloween block parties, or inviting classmates or Sunday School class Halloween lock-in parties. The thing about lock-in parties at local churches, is that there are so many people there to help, and so many things to that self entertaining older children need little help to occupy themselves, and younger children are so easy to entertain and please that the party is bound to be a success.

Of course, in a group situation, like a Halloween lock-in party, if there is a wide range of ages, the party should be divided, if possible, and if not boundaries should be clearly defined, and any contests such as costume, pumpkin decorating and competitive games, should be divided into age groups and the games should be age appropriate. In spite of that, your Halloween lock-in party will be a success with a little planning, and a lot of help, and your kids will be safe and sound all the while.

A responsible adult, dressed as a Halloween party gypsy, can turn a standard gazing ball into a crystal ball, and tell fortunes, or read tarot cards, in a screened off corner of the room. Teenagers, especially, love this kind of thing. Each teen could be required to earn a chocolate coin, to pay for his or her reading, and the loot can be recycled for other games.

Halloween party menus need not be complex. Treats such as tombstone brownies (cut like a tombstone, sprinkled with powdered sugar, and then written R.I.P.) Dips with plastic “bloody” fingers, and the stray eyeball or two, are fun. Graveyard Dirt Desserts (instant puddings topped with crushed Oreo cookies, mounded up to look like graves, covered in dirt) with the odd stray bone or two, or a tiny skeleton hand reaching up through the center, work well. Rather than punch, for a lock-in, you might want to consider large coolers with push button dispensers filled with punch or soft drinks, even water, and throw away cups.

There are many game ideas, party favors, activities, and menu ideas online, in party supply stores, and department store Halloween sections, but if you plan carefully, have music, plenty of spooky snacks and drinks, a little Monster Mash music, and age appropriate music and movies, your Halloween Lock-in Party, is sure to be a night to remember!

Mrs. Party… Gail Leino is the internet’s leading authority on selecting the best possible party supplies (http://partysupplieshut.com), using proper etiquette and manners while also teaching organizational skills and fun facts. The Party Supplies Hut has a huge selection of free party games, coloring pages, word find, word scramble, printable baby and bridal shower activities. Halloween Party Games (Halloween-Party-Fun.com), party planning tips, decorations, costume ideas, recipes, printable activities and free coloring pages.

Garden Party

Celebrate a summer birthday with a garden party. This party may be held inside or out but it is best if some of the activities can be done outside. Have your guests dress in casual clothes so they can get messy.

INVITATIONS

You will need white and yellow construction paper, glue and some markers. Fold a piece of the white paper in half. Cut a flower out of the white paper being careful to leave two of the petals joined together. Cut out a yellow circle and glue in the center of your flower. Open the flower to write the invitation inside. Be sure to include your own name, date, address and R.S.V.P. and phone number inside the invitation.

DECORATIONS

Decorate the table with a flowered tablecloth. Use a tin watering can as a vase and place cut flowers in it for your centerpiece. Set new, clean garden tools on the table to use as serving spoons for sunflower seeds or for the fruit salad.

SEED PACKET NAPKIN RINGS

You will need cardboard tubes, construction paper, scissors, glue and packets of seeds. Cut a 2-inch section from a cardboard tube. Cover the section with construction paper. Glue one seed packet onto each napkin ring. Insert the napkins into the napkin rings and lay one at each place setting.

MENU

Serve Garden Pizzas with fruit salad and sunflower seeds. For the grand finale, serve “Sunshine Punch” and Dirty Cupcakes.

GARDEN PIZZAS

Use refrigerated pizza dough to make individual pizzas. Let children create their own pizza. Supply them with tomato sauce, mozzerella cheese, and an assortment of veggies such as mushrooms, onions, and green peppers. Some of your party guests may prefer plain cheese pizza.

FRUIT SALAD

Mix together strawberries, cantaloupe, banana slices, or any other favorite fruit.

SUNSHINE PUNCH

Mix 2 liters of orange soda with one pint of vanilla ice cream.

DIRTY CUPCAKES

Bake cupcakes using your favorite cake mix. Frost the cupcakes with chocolate icing. Crumble crushed oreo cookies on top to make the cakes look dirty. Place gummy worms or gummy bugs on top for decoration.

Place a bowl of sunflower seeds or toasted pumpkin seeds in the center of the table as a snack for children.

ACTIVITIES

PIN THE BEE ON THE FLOWER

Using a poster size sheet of white construction paper, draw a large flower. Hang the poster up on a door or a wall before the party. Make a small bee out of construction paper for each of the children. Place a piece of tape on each of the bees. Have children line up one at a time, blindfold them and ask them to pin the bee on the flower. Give prizes to the children who get their bee in the correct place.

DECORATE TERRA COTTA POTS

Buy a 4″ terra cotta pot for each of the children. Supply the children with paint, stickers, ribbons and glue and have them each decorate a pot. They will be able to take these home as party favors later.

PLANTING FLOWER SEEDS

Let the little gardeners plant flower seeds in their terra cotta pots. Have garden tools, dirt, flower seeds and a watering can available for them. Let them get messy since the invitation asked them to wear old clothes. If you have a small plot of dirt in the backyard let them plant a flower garden.

BEAN BAG TOSS

Place dried beans into snack size zipper baggies to make beanbags. Use two large empty coffee cans as targets. Line the children up in two teams. Give each team five beanbags. The children on each team will take turns tossing the beanbags into the coffee cans. They each get five tosses. The team that gets the most beanbags into the target wins. Give out prizes to the winning team.

FAVORS

Guests can take home the flower seed packets from their napkin rings as well as the terra cotta pots they decorated. Other ideas are gummy worms, flower stickers, and gardening gloves.

Renee Kirchner is a parent, educator, and freelance writer who specializes in writing for children and parents. Visit her fun and informational blog for parents and their kids at http://www.family-friend.blogspot.com and find out more about Renee’s writing services offered at http://www.lieurancegroup.blogspot.com or email her at renee.kirchner@usa.net to discuss possible writing projects.

Who Says Comics Are Just For Kids

To state that the internet has changed the way that we live is an understatement. The way that we check the latest movies listings, catch up on current events and buy and sell goods has drastically changed over the last decade. We now live in a world where anyone can get their product or message out to the masses with ease. No longer are the voices of the media giants and large corporations the only voices that are heard. In today’s world even the little guy has an equal opportunity to promote and deliver goods and services.

One example of how the internet has changed the scope of the world is the way millions of people now read comic strips. Online comics, also known as webcomics, are a new phenomenon that has embraced the internet over the last decade. Webcomics, as the name implies, are online comics that can be read off of a website versus the traditional medium of a newspaper or magazine. Unlike traditional comics, where very few comic strips are accepted into syndication, anyone with a talent for writing and drawing can put together a webcomic.

Authors of a webcomic strip can range anywhere from a high school students to adults looking at using their creativity to make a successful living for themselves. Whether or not the artist produces a webcomic as a hobby or a source of income the potential profit streams are endless. A popular online comic website has the same opportunities as other popular sites when it comes to creating income for the website publisher. Need proof, a couple of examples of income earners for webcomic sites are that they can sell advertising space or merchandise using their logo and images.

It’s a new world out there and the internet has given the ability for all artists to let their voices be heard. Whether your interest is poetry, writing or creating comics, the internet is an exciting medium that gives you an equal opportunity to show off your talents.

Gerald is the publisher of the webcomic Gary the Fairy. A quirky free online comic about the outsourcing of the fairy industry. You can read more about Gary and his misadventures at http://www.garythefairy.com.